Has it really been three quarters? Am I truly a second-year? I can’t believe how quickly this year passed me by. There’s a duality where I feel like I’ve gone through so many trials but am still just beginning my path. If you decide to read this all the way through, thank you for your time and attention.
Upon starting my first year, I believed the next four years were just a stepping stone. I thought, “I’m here to get my degree and start a career. There is no time to mess around. Tuition is too high to get distracted and possibly flunk out. I can’t afford to lose time or fall into more debt”.
A decade in the workforce made me self-sufficient. I was comfortable relying on myself. The rough pathway to professional school manifested a socially cold personality. My younger classmates haven’t faced the same challenges. I felt like I was on a different mental plane than everyone else and was hesitant to initiate conversations with others. Every day concluded with returning home immediately. While my classmates went out to socialize, I would head home to study and try to get ahead.
Physical and mental barriers fully closed me off, and the isolating thoughts continued: “I know how to study and take care of myself. I did better on my own, anyway. Right?… right?… How dare the upperclassmen and staff tell me I couldn’t do this alone. They don’t know the extent of my mental fortitude. My classmates wouldn’t even want to be friends with someone older. Why open myself up if they wouldn’t accept me?” My tendency to fabricate excuses was a major limitation. I had no one to study with or ask questions on difficult topics. Isolation made classwork feel like a grind. My processes were inefficient. Adjusting to graduate school was tough, but this was the first quarter. This quarter should be the easiest it will ever be. How did I practically fail my first proficiency? I’m not going to survive another year.
Foolishness made me blind to a fundamental aspect of being a student. There is a world of support here. And it’s free! Shutting myself in limited my education and strained my mental health. Why am I making things unnecessarily difficult for myself? When I realized my mistake, I worried it was too late to form connections. The short answer is that it’s never too late. My abstinence from socialization was the only real barrier. It took some opening up and effort from my end, but the faculty and classmates were there for me all this time. My classmates have made school fun again. They have prophylactically curtailed numerous panic attacks and depressive episodes. I owe them big for helping me get this far and forming new core memories. One advantage of nurturing friendships is having a group of people with whom you can study, ask questions, and practice skills. Reliable friends can make your time here more enjoyable and improve your learning ability. Active learning is incredibly powerful. The next three years have evolved from an academic battle to an opportunity to learn and grow with others. Taking the time to realize I wasn’t happy and changing how I approached school and my peers drastically improved my educational experience.
I’m grateful for recognizing my errors reasonably early in my first year. It’s important to reflect and work towards your own goals. Everyone has their pathway, and they will take various amounts of time to get comfortable. Some people may want the interpersonal experience; some won’t. Each student will have their personal goals for Optometry school. Be patient with yourself and others. Take the occasional leap of faith and accept an invitation to things you normally wouldn’t do. Reach out to others. Get involved on campus. Invite someone to indulge in a post-exam sweet treat. Be aware of others' feelings and be there for them. Find support, be support.
Can you complete Optometry school without help from others? Probably. Will being solo be fun or efficient? It depends on the person. Will you get the most out of school by yourself? Not even close. There are so many aspects of education that are beyond tests and assignments. SCCO’s curriculum encourages students to build academic and social foundations. When you’re ready, take advantage of the time and get to know your future colleagues.
